I feel like I get misjudged a lot and I'm sure everyone else feels that way too, but I deserve it. I think (well, know) I give off the vibe that I'm short-tempered and hate anyone who drinks/smokes and am quick to say something. I don't get half as angry as most people think I do (with the exception of my family); if anything, I'll be the one to try to mediate a situation. I'm not an ass, but I won't take shit I don't deserve at the same time. I used to not like it when people drank or smoked (whether they were underage or not) because I had the notion they were bad people, but I'm an idiot for thinking that. People have their reasons for doing things and I shouldn't be so quick to judge. I can only think of one time I drank socially and smoked, but countless of times drinking with my family. I don't think of myself as a bad person, but I have bad qualities. I guess I am quick to say something, but I actually watch what I say. Most people who know me, don't actually know shit about me. I like people who are honest and straight with me, but I'm not so sure if I can handle the truth. I like to be honest with other people too, but I won't be a dick about it. I admit I probably make people feel guilty when I mess around, but that's something I'll work on myself. I feel like all the offensive things I say are jokes and should be taken light-heartedly, but everyone's so sensitive nowadays. I goof around a lot and sometimes I'm not sure if it's too much. I think I need to be reminded to stop sometimes. I wish more people were easygoing and would just laugh things off, including myself. My friends don't really make fun of me, even though I embarrass myself like crazy. I make fun of myself a lot, but it's because I rather talk about myself than have someone else do it. I have a terrible guilty conscience and feel bad about a lot of things easily. I've become apathetic about almost everything lately and I can't stand it. I wish I had some kind of passion or drive. I want to learn more about myself; I want a psychologist to talk to me and tell me about myself. I hate when I'm not wanted and when I'm alone. I feel like I always need someone by me to keep me sane and going. I like attention, but to an extent. I'm not happy or sad right now; I'm just okay. I like being in my comfort zone, but I think I stay ignorant that way. I don't like how my group of friends is made up of all Asian people. I've lost touch with all my non-Asian friends, which sucks. I wish I had a more diverse group of friends, but honestly I am most comfortable around Asians. With that being said, I know nothing about my own culture or where I came from. I know barely any Chinese and I feel that I'm the worst student in my Chinese class. I want to go to China someday. I wish I was more cultured in everything else too and was able to have more experiences traveling. I've barely been out of Massachusetts. Hopefully, I can travel the world when I'm older. I'm not as open-minded as I thought, but I'm not close-minded either. I'm slowly getting more exposed to everything I used to laugh at. I'm stubborn and I only do things I want to and I'll try to persuade people to come my way. I'm selfish at times, but not greedy (if that makes sense). I can also be selfless and generous, but most people tend to look past this and think I'm a b-word. I'm not a sweetheart, but I'm unconventionally nice. I've changed a lot and I'll probably change even more during college, but I'm afraid of change. I have no idea why I stayed up this late to write this piece of crap, I'm such an idiot
